1) Clark Kent now goes into a phone booth and comes out just wearing these
2) Improves every Olympic lift by 45X - I can now squat 20,000 lbs. Truth
3) These shorts are the world’s first fully-functioning, NASA-approved boobie magnet.
4) If your father had worn the ‘Mericas prior to your conception, you would have 14 identical twin brothers.
5) These babies are 10,000% made in the USA
Yep, that's right. If your Chubbies don't fit EXACTLY how you want them to, send them back using our quadruple dope return process and we'll get you a different size faster than you can open up a fresh adult beverage.
Here at Three Guys, we try to keep things simple and make sure to take care of our customers. So we couldn't have any other return policy except this: you can return any pair of shorts for any reason, no questions asked. Shaboomslam. We'll even pay for the return shipping. Double shaboomslam.
Just email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll send you a return shipping label via the interwebs.
Once you get your return label, you simply send your return to:
Three Guys Holding Co., LLC
635 Texas St., Unit A
San Francisco, CA 94107