From the world's foremost statisticians to Paul the Octopus, there are a LOT of people/octopuses out there who say they can "predict" who'll win the presidential nominations for the Democratic and Republican parties.
And while we may not be Octopuses, we do think we've got a better way. And that way is Presidential POGs.
"HAHAHA, GOOD ONE GUYS," Tom Selleck shout-yelled, while high-fiving us. "Only problem is POGs don't exist anymore. You'd have to, like, find and buy a POG maker on eBay and then make your own."
"We totally would," we replied in between games of Settlers of Beertan. "AND WE TOTALLY DID."
So here's how this highly (HIGHLY) scientific study worked. Tater and Joelski played POGs with all 12 of the Republican nominee hopefuls. We started with all the candidates in a stack face-up. If a candidate got flipped during play they were eliminated from contention.
Which means... bye bye, Carly and John!
Catch ya on the flip side Mike, Chris, Jeb!, Ben, Marco, Rick, and Jim!
FINAL THREE: Ted Cruz. Donald Trump. Rand Paul. And the Republican Presidential Nominee will be.....
TEDDY "THE BEAR" CRUZ.
Alright, Dems time. We've got Hilary vs. Bernie vs. Marty Martin. Or we DID until Martin got did:
Which, as expected, left us with Hil and Bern. And the Democratic Presidential Nominee will be.....
HILARY "HILDOG" CLINTON.
Lock 'em in, fellas.
Oh, and because we know you were wondering, YES, we did make POGs of all four Chubbies founders and had them go head-to-head:
Vote Kyle, 2016.
- Chublysses S. Grant