The Facts

If you've got righteous Chubbies facts, post 'em to the Chubbies Fb page or tweet 'em @ us with hashtag #ChubFacts. Get scores of folks to like/retweet and you might get that mother featured on this page. Word up

The Facts

  • Chubbies are the best shorts ever.
    (Note: this is not “Opinion 1″, this is “Fact 1″)
  • Chubbies may or may not be made with lightning.  
    Yes, lightning like the electric, molten-hot s*** that comes from the skies.
  • Any sexual relations you have after purchasing a pair of Chubbies are DIRECTLY because of said Chubbies. Nothing else. Don't kid yourself.
  • Chubbies most likely make you at least 4.2x faster
    (Obviously because of their aerodynamics. Can’t argue with science.)
  • People have been known to put on their Chubbies and never take them off.
    Just a word of caution to those of you who have actual jobs.
  • Your boss might not understand Chubbies but your grandpa sure as s*** does.
    (Ever see your grandpa wearing shorts that go below his knees? Didn’t think so.)
  • You want a pair of Chubbies.
    Yes you!
  • Wearing a different pair of Chubbies every day of the week is not excessive. You know what’s excessive? The number of phone numbers you will get because of your Chubbies. You better buy an f'in huge “black book”. Or back-up your iPhone.
  • Chubbies are for big fat party animals.
    Almost exclusively.
  • Saturdays are meant for Barbecueing, Chubbies and beer.
    Not much else.
  • The 1972 Miami Dolphins were the only undefeated and untied team in professional history. Each teammate's father was wearing Chubbies at their time of conception. (from S-Dog Lewis)
  • A million dollars isn't cool.
    You know what's cool? Chubbies.
  • Slangin'
  • Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; men wearing Chubbies are all of the above. (from C-Daddy Ipalook)
  • Guys with chinstrap beards break out in hives when within a 10 foot radius of a pair of Chubbies.
  • Chicks dig the Chubbies tan.
  • Any shorts longer than your Chubbies are Capri pants.
  • Jetlag and Chubbies don't exist together. Put on the shorts and you become invincible.
    (From Dr. J. Penner)
  • Recent scientific studies have conclusively shown that wearing Chubbies increases the rate of facial hair growth by 3.6x
  • Chubbies have been known to incept fools on a regular basis
  • Chubuardo Jimenez is a legendary Mexican revolutionary who led the awesomely radical Short Shorts uprising of 2023...that's right, that's in the future and I'm talking about it like it's in the past...no big whoop.
  • There have been reports of Chubbies spontaneously karate-chopping dudes wearing capri pants
    (See Fact 17)
  • Chubbies in the wintertime is a no brainer. You'll say "But won't my legs get cold??"
    - The answer is no. You will be sheltered from the cold by a thick layer of sweltering women latched to your radtacular man-thighs like a pack of starving koala bears.
  • I hate pants
  • Usain Bolt was disallowed from wearing Chubbies to the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics because the crowd was getting pissed at all the sonic booms.
  • If you wear shorts longer than Chubbies, you probably don't love America.
  • No shirt, no shoes - no service. No shirt, no shoes and wears Chubbies - free milkshakes, burgers, and thigh massages from all female employees. You're welcome Jeff Spicoli.
    Inspired by Big Poppa Frank Zachar of the Chubster Nation
  • Chubbies may or may not be bulletproof (still being debated in scientific circles), but they are without a doubt abstinence proof.
    Crafted by honorable Chubster Elijah Fortson
  • The hand-stitched magnetic lining within your Chubbies has a 378 foot radius and activates at random.
  • Don't worry about washing your 'Mericas with your whites because those colors don't run.
  • Studies conducted by the Smithsonian indicate the reason no one can find Waldo is because he bought Chubbies early on, and has been buried under piles of women ever since.
  • Cargo shorts are the only form of contraception that is 100% effective.
  • Whilst freezing at Valley Forge, George Washington kept warm with shorts, sewn by Betsy Ross out of the same fabric that she used on the first American Flag. Experts refer to those shorts as the first pair of 'MERICAS.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Chris Backus
  • Chubbies are what Willis was talking 'bout.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Duncan Bintrim
  • Sharks have a week dedicated to Chubbies.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Johnny Haynes
  • Apple tried making Chubbies, but realized they didn't have the technology.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Patrick Cormick
  • I like to picture Jesus in a pair of Chubbies. It says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Parker Pearson
  • Chubbies: turning eye contact into thigh contact since 2011.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Clem Butler
  • When you wear pants, you sweat. When you wear Chubbies, people around you sweat.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Joey Castrodale
  • If Rick Springfield wore Chubbies, he would have Jessie's girl
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Grant Rumreich
  • Chubbies spelled backwards is Freedom
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Connor Sequeira
  • Chubbies, for those who can stand the heat but are too busy fighting bears and skydiving to be in the kitchen.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Sean Clarke
  • Every time I walk into a room with my Chubbies on I hear someone yell "dibs."
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Ryan Norris
  • Men everywhere are thinking twice before asking a guy wearing Chubbies to be their wingman.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Ryan Guevara
  • Chubbies are how I met your mother.
    Crafted by #ChubsterNation's own Nate Horvit