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Everything You Need To Know About Short Basketball Shorts

Don’t call it a comeback. Even though it technically IS a comeback, don’t call it that, just be all “whoa, looks like NBA players are wearing short basketball shorts again, that’s pretty cool.” Because that’s EXACTLY what’s happenin’ — after 20+ years of quad covering insanity, two decades of thighs hidden away in the shooty hoops shadows, the National Round Ball Assosch is making shorts short again. Just the way Jimmy Naismith III intended them to be. Since its been awhile, here’s a Cliff’s Notes guide to everything you need to know about short basketball shorts:
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THE HISTORY OF SHORT BASKETBALL SHORTS

1891-1920: Everyone wears pants hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

1920-1990: Everyone switches to short shorts, the NBA is born, Walt Frazier wears super fly fur coats, life is friggin’ radical.

1991: Michigan's Fab Five (no disrespect) plays its first game together in mad long shorts.

1992-2004: Everyone switches to knee-length shorts EXCEPT John Stockton, who sets the all-time career assists and steals records.

2005: Players are fined for EXCESSIVELY long shorts.

2006-2015: The majority of players continue to wear knee-length shorts on the basketball court, none of them set all-time career assists or steals records.

2016: Thighs everywhere breathe a sigh of relief as shorts start to get short again in both the college and NBA ranks.
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THE HALL OF NBA SHORT SHORTS FAME

1) John Stockton
2) Magic Johnson
3) Larry Bird
4) Clyde ‘The Glide’ Drexler
5) Jerry West
6) Dr. J
7) ‘Pistol’ Pete Maravich
8) Oscar ‘The Big O’ Robertson
9) Bill Russell
10) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
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THE MOST FAMOUS PAIR OF SHORT BASKETBALL SHORTS EVER

These are the only shorts in NBA history to score 100 points in a single game.
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THE GUYS MAKING BASKETBALL SHORTS SHORT AGAIN

1) James Harden (Houston Rockets)
2) Steph Curry (Golden State Warriors)
3) LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
4) Paul George (Indiana Pacers)
5) Blake Griffin (Los Angeles Clippers)
6) Jaylen Brown (Boston Celtics)
7) Chris Andersen (Cleveland Cavaliers)
8) Dwayne Wade (Chicago Bulls)
9) Richard Jefferson (Cleveland Cavaliers)
10) Kelly Oubre Jr. (Washington Wizards)


THE BUTTON THAT’LL TAKE YOU TO SHORT BASKETBALL SHORTS YOU’LL ACTUALLY WANT TO WEAR

THE BUTTON

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Sky's Out, Thighs Out

- Tom, Preston, Kyle, and Rainer
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Keep Me Posted

Lemme know when these bad boys are back in stock.